I’m a crazy-condom lady and here’s why you should consider become one

Ana C!ara Otoni
4 min readMay 13, 2018


If you know me in person you know I’m pretty open to talking about sex. All my social media bios say that I’m passionate about the topic. So a lot of people assume that I have a very active sex life and some pervs even think that my openness to the subject is an invitation to send me unwanted dick pics…but, that’s another story.

Today, I want to talk about the time I was in Silicon Valley pitching my sex toy idea for venture capitalists. I wanted to create “Keegs”, a device to help women to do Kegels and keep track of their results and improvements. While creating my deck, I got feedback from different people. I also listened to a lot of different people’s sexual life experiences.

One of the things that stroked me was how people reacted whenever I said that I have never had sex without a condom. The immediate response was typical: eyes wide opened, raised eyebrows, wrinkled forehead followed by a loud shout of “Wait…WHAT?”.

Yes. I’ve had long relationships (two of that last four years each) and I was always on birth control and my partners always had condoms. I’ve always been cautioned about sex, perhaps because of my Mom had me at an early age. She taught me to be extremely cautioned about sex because she believes we are very “fertile creatures”. I believe that using condoms is a proof of respect for the other person, it’s a way of showing that you are responsible and assuming that you are not ready to have a child (not to say to get a disease).

BTW, quick advice: If I guy insists to have sex without a condom, that a big red-flag. He might have had sex plenty times with other people without protection, which is not cool…AT ALL.

Back in Silicon Valley, my friends (most of them from different countries and cultures, such as Europe, Asia, and Oceania) told me that after getting intimate with their partners they would do a test and start having sex without a condom. Honestly, that’s not an option to me. I don’t feel comfortable having sex without a condom and I don’t recommend having only one option of birth control. Better be safe than sorry.

In my mind, there’s a formula: safe sex = condom + birth control pills.

If I know I’m having sex that day or night, I immediately check if I have condoms. You know “crazy-cat-lady”?

I’m “crazy-condom-lady”.

That’s my inside joke with my friends. Seriously, every purse, duffel bag, backpack, and luggage I owned have at least one condom on it.
Life is full of surprises. You better be ready, right?

Even though my intention of stocking up on condoms was to always be ready, just in case I would have sex that day, I was caught by surprise a couple times. Because of …guess what? Size matters.

It’s not the size of the guys’ dick that matters, at least not to me, but the size of the condom. It’s not enough to always have a condom on you. You have to make sure you have the right size of the condom. I guess this is basic, but it wasn’t for me a while ago.

I remember about a time when I was about to have sex with this guy and I proudly bragged: “don’t worry, I have a condom”. I definitely thought that I would look cool for having a condom. I thought I was being this smart, liberated women, in control of my body and decisions… when the guy immediately asked me:

— Which size is it?

And I was like…

— What do you mean? Which size is it? Regular size. Standard size. Wait, is there any other size for condoms?

You can tell how naive I was back then (and how limited my sexual life was). The guy explained to me that he had to use a special size (read extra-large) condom. I felt silly, excited and a bit concern.

– WAIT, which size is your dick? LOL

Turned out size matters and it’s important to have the right fit. It not only makes the experience more joyful for the guy but also guarantees that you are having safe sex. Thankfully, the guy was prepared and had a condom that fit him and we had a fun night.

After this experience, I had to upgrade my condom stock. For safety reasons — after all, I don’t want to miss an opportunity of having a fun time! A friend of mine introduced me to these vegan condoms. I know, crazy right?

As I said, life is full of surprises. We’re constantly learning. I didn’t even know there were different size of condoms, and now I know that there are plant-based condoms, which are not only eco-friendly but are safer for your body too.

I encourage my girlfriends to always have condoms on them.

Last year I went to Vegas with my girls and thankfully one of my condoms saved one of my friends. She saw the opportunity of having sex with this cute guy she was talking to, but she had no condom. I felt empowered handing a condom to her and saying:

— Girl, I got you!

Since then, she learned her lesson and hopefully she now cares at least two sizes of condoms with her.

I like to think that empowered women, empower other women.



Ana C!ara Otoni

Journalist. Sustainability, Social Justice & Gender Equality. Becoming Odara daily. Passionate about life, sexuality & wine. Mugs lover.