The light

Ana C!ara Otoni
2 min readDec 24, 2018


As pessoas vem e vão, mas nunca vem em vão.

I can only see now, but you brought the best and the worst of me.

You had all of me, just like John sung.
The most authentic version of myself so far.

Everything was so powerful.

I felt so full that my stomach hurt like I’m still digesting it.

Here and there I learn something else about that time: the challenges we had.
Provocations. Questions. Were we ambitious?
We dare each other.

I wanted to give it all to you.
It was toxic sometimes.
There was a competition between us.

The comparison is a thief of joy.

For how many seasons was I enchanted?
Your smile, your body, your brain.

I sometimes think you used NLP and all your cheap techniques to hypnotize me. I still snap my fingers and I feel that I have it all.

So, yeah. Fuck you, thank you!

Every challenge you gave me, helped me to improve.
You reminded me to tell Olga to shut up.

You never accepted “I don’t know”.
You would say “What if you did know?”.
You would make me give it all. Naked. Pure. Your goodness.

There was a competition for both of us.
We were trying to save us, to get somewhere.
We ended up getting somewhere apart from each other.
Let’s call it growth.



Ana C!ara Otoni

Journalist. Sustainability, Social Justice & Gender Equality. Becoming Odara daily. Passionate about life, sexuality & wine. Mugs lover.