“That’s the first time I go out with a feminist. Everything is new to me”

Is sexism so rooted in the male DNA that they don’t even notice when it comes out?
Can I judge someone based on something they said on the second date
Was this guy justifying what he said because of my disapproval?
Was he being honest when justifying it OR (AND?) when saying he would hit her?

— That’s the first time I go out with a feminist. Everything is new to me. I’m being honest with you. I got mad that my ex cheated on me, I wanted to hit her, but I never did or would. If what I said is a deal breaker for you. It’s a deal breaker for me too, I was opening my heart and sharing my story with you.

— I’m all for women’s right. Women should be free and have the right to do whatever she wants with her body.

— As long as she makes the right choice.

Waiting periods, counseling, ultrasounds, transvaginal ultrasound, sonogram storytelling — all of these legislative moves are invasive, insulting, and condescending because they are deeply misguided attempts to pressure women into changing their minds, to pressure women into not terminate their pregnancies, as if women are so easily swayed that such petty and cruel stall tactics will work. These politicians do not understand that once a woman has made up her mind about terminating a pregnancy, very little will sway her.

We should all be in this together, right? One of my favorite moments is when a guy, at that certain point in a relationship, says something desperately hopeful like, “Are you on the pill?” I simply say, “No, are you?” Gay, Roxane. (Bad Feminist, 2014, pg. 277)

The first segment, guanxi men, are status-driven businessmen aged 35 to 45 who spend a great deal of time networking and trying to set up a business deal. The second segment is “strong independent women”, also in the 35–to-45 age bracket.

The problem? Well, take a look closer.


Arnette Travis during the Women’s March 2018, in Redondo Beach.

Through redefinition and ownership of the term, bitch became a palatable proposition that fostered positive reinforcement for female aspirations. Similar to the ownership of the n-word by some Afro-Americans, bitch found acceptance when used by women to describe their own behaviors and attitudes — but remained anathema coming from a man. (Arnette Travis, 2018, “Bitch: A Definitive and Restorative Guide”)

How about you? What is unclear or confusing for you about feminism and gender equality? Leave your comment! I would love to hear what you have to say.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store